Hey friends, first of all I want to apologize for being so M.I.A the last little while. I've been so busy, but thinking each of you every single day! I'm so glad to be back and catch you all up on the latest Bit by Britt!
Today marks 3 years to the day that my heart was ripped out of my chest. I was suddenly thrown into divorce and forced to face one of life’s greatest pains! I truly didn’t know if I would ever recover and the depression I had developed during my marriage persisted. As the “anniversary” of this day rolls around, I’ve been reflecting a lot on how far I’ve come over the last few years and honestly hurting for the girl I was back then!
Full disclosure, I am proud. I am proud of the woman I have become, the accomplishments I’ve been able to achieve, and the resilience I had in overcoming such a hard trial! Now, did I do everything perfectly? Abso-freaking-lutely not! I’ve made mistakes, had setbacks, and struggled along the way. But those setbacks and struggles have taught me lessons that I wouldn’t change for anything!
3 years ago: I couldn’t get out of bed, I was having 2-3 major anxiety attacks per day, I felt completely worthless, and frankly, didn’t want to live any longer!
(3 year transformation)
Today: I am excited about life, I get to help and inspire women each and every day, I am running my own business, and I am HAPPY!
Quite the shift, right? I don’t tell you this comparison to brag or rub it in anyone’s face that “oh I’ve made it,” because frankly some days still suck! I do it to show that happiness IS possible, no matter your current circumstance or situation!
When thinking back on those dark days 3 years ago, I wish so badly I could go back in time and tell that broken me a few lessons that would have changed everything!
This is what I would say:
1. Allow yourself to feel: As bad as it hurts, let yourself feel every emotion that comes. Cry, be angry, or be lonely. Feeling is healing and you can only heal once you face your emotions head on.
2. STAY: No matter how gloomy and dark this day may feel, please stay! Light may seem like a distant memory, but it will come again! There is always something worth living for. Never let the darkness overcome you, choose to stay!
3. Surround yourself with support: “You are only as successful as those you surround yourself with.” There is truly no substitute for a good support system. Once you find that tribe, the good will be better and the bad will be easier! Don’t be alone. There are so many people who love you, let them in! Don’t torture yourself by keeping everything inside.
4. Good days are always ahead: I get it, you feel like there will never be a good day again. You feel like your laugh has been stolen and your chest filled with rocks. You believe your best days have come and gone, and now you are doomed to a life of misery. Don’t believe these lies! No bad day is here to stay! It may not go away tomorrow, or next week, or even next month…but it will go away! Allow yourself to enjoy the small moments of happiness you experience and lean on that until the next moment comes!
5. Focus on what you can control: “You cannot change the wind, but you can adjust your sails.” Winds will come and you can’t change them. People will do things that will hurt you, but it’s out of your control. The only thing you have complete control over in life is yourself! You can be miserable for the rest of your life if you choose to, or you can change your attitude and look for the good in every situation!
6. Baby steps: Be proud of yourself and give yourself credit for the small victories! You won’t get over this all at once. It will take time, work, and persistence, but you will heal! There will be setbacks that leave you feeling knocked on your face, years from now. But one day you will wake up and find you are at complete peace with your life. Baby steps, baby steps, baby steps.
This advice may seem silly and common knowledge, but it is exactly the words I would tell myself 3 years ago and the same ones I tell myself today! Not every day is peachy, I am not “healed” and I might cry tomorrow, but if I traveled back in time I truly wouldn’t recognize myself today! That to me is a victory! Life is hard and it requires us to work every single day. Happiness is not handed to us on a silver platter, it is found deep in the trenches!
One of my role models, Mel Robins says, “If you’re not changing it, you’re choosing it.”
Each day is a new battle, and a new chance to change your life! Give yourself grace along the way! If you are in the heat of heartbreak, the pain of loss, or struggling through life in anyway, I hope you will take focus on the words of advice I would give myself and find peace through your struggle! Good days are coming and I can’t wait to see what they bring!
If you are struggling in any way right now, and need a pep talk from someone who's "been there", please reach out and lets chat! I am only a phone call away and you are on your way to happiness!
See ya next week as we dive deeper and help each other grow, Bit by Britt!